Pink Goo

"Look, Aha, it turned purple!"

"Why, Aha? Now, it's pink!" she exclaims with great wonder and joy.

My sweet, Addi is playing with some gooey, squeezy stuff- kinda like silly putty used to be- but much cooler, transparent and sparkly. It has a slight strawberry scent and has been the source of her undivided attention for an hour. We have made masks to cover our noses, eyes and big giant pink lips...

Now, the goo is one big pink pancake.

Addisyn Cain is now 3 plus and incessantly asks "why".... Do you remember when you were filled with imagination, awe and amazement? She marvels and the wind, the sunsets, the river, the tiny spiders that crawl all over her outside table. The amount of questions she has equates with the amount of joy. I have never equated the two, until right now. Joy & Questions. Curiosity & Vitality.

I wonder- is this what happens-?

People grow old, they stop asking questions, and assume they have all the answers and in the process, they begin to lose precious joy and vitality.

Are we so distracted and anxious that we no longer know or care to stop and pay attention to the moment? What would it take for you to be mesmerized by sunsets, smiles, gooey stuff, and pretend pink pancakes?

Now, she serves fresh strawberries on the pink pancake, asking, "How is it?".

Her imagination is not yet confined by her inner critic or dreams' that society labels rational or "crazy".

I take a big hug bite of the pretend strawberry pancake and I squeeze her tiny, sturdy body and exclaim "It's perfect! Thank you!"

The words of Christ echo through my mind, the kingdom of God has come near now.

Amen. Thank you God. God of wonder and God of joy.

Angel Mama

It has been a week since I sat on the cool carpet and held my dear friend's feet. I watched her breaths- they became slower and slower and each one more shallow - as she struggled to inhale the air that gives all of us life.

My hot tears fell onto her feet as she took her last breath. She is now at peace. Now there is a hole in this world. The goodness and love she radiated was massive though she was a petite woman. Her heart was huge and her spirit simply pure; she was filled with God's peace, joy, faith, goodness and gentleness. She was an angel to me. She'd sign her emails to me "Angel Mama".

For the first time in my life, I received unconditional love and support from a woman who struggled every single day to simply breathe. I watched her body turn on her and yet she never uttered one single word of complaint. She smiled and encouraged and worried about everyone else around her to the very end of her life. Two days before she died, I kissed her forehead gently as I came in from church. She'd been asleep. She reached for the signature yellow note pads she kept my her side- her only way to communicate- barely even able to open her eyes- she scribbled with the finger that would still work-

How was Church today? How is Addy?

I miss her so much my heart aches and I can't stop the tears from falling. I know that there are angels on this earth because of Reese's presence in my life and I am forever grateful to God for that...